Tuesday, August 17, 2010
things that make me realize that i actually still live under a rock.

1 - the number of old films i never have the time (and/or patience) to watch.
2 - the number of tv shows i should get into but am not (Modern Family, Community, Doctor Who, etc)
3 - the number of indie bands/music i have not listened to
4 - the amount of vintage pop culture references based on comics/old cartoons i dont get.
5 - the number of culture related events i have skipped out on or did not know about
6 - the number of culture-ish places in the metro that i have never been to
7 - the number of people who i should apparently know in the field that i am in.
8 - the number of job titles/companies i do not know i could work for.

i will find the answer in Peels.
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puh-lease. you are not a character from grey's anatomy so stop being an overacting whore!!

i dont care if writing your feelings out is your only source of stress relief... or self-validation for that matter, but at least have some decency to not be so rude on the internet!

NAKAKAHIYA KA.

zasdfhadfgksdgjkl

i will find the answer in Peels.
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Monday, August 16, 2010

there's this vision of myself that i have living in Japan for at least at a time in my life. and i have this huge opportunity to do so for during summer vacation! i just have to arrange things like early internships, certifications, PERMISSION haha, etc. the dream is to live independently, really ALONE for a while, like a "vacation" that validates my ability to fend for myself for real. it's a total bonus that i would be doing so in the country i have forever felt an attachment to.

that dream is almost just an arm's length away! yet... i find myself hesitating to reach for it.. :( i think what's making me uncertain of it, more than the fear of being there on my own, is the prospect of not being able to see, touch, hug, cuddle and annoy certain people for 3 whole months, the longest time i will ever not see them for. most especially that one person. actually, just that one person. huu.

i will find the answer in Peels.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

someone told me people from my school who were in the lower batches asked him why i wasnt in the school paper. from the way he saw it, those younguns saw me as this artsy, quirky person who can write well so why wasnt i in the School Paper, Achieving Things and whatnot.

truth is, kids, i never really expected anything from being a college student (in Ateneo). also never in my high school life did i wish with all my heart that i would be an Atenean. it was just that the only choices i gave myself was Ateneo and UP as the appealing schools i wanted to go to. it wasnt a question of future affiliation. it was mostly just a question of the only 2 schools i knew i liked.

i appreciated the new leaf as i entered college, but i didnt really imagine my Ideal College Self, and i didnt think so much about comparing it with my high school experience. there's relatively little for me to look back on, and i wasnt too attached to my Unknown High School From the South. i was thankful for the adequate education, but i guess that was it. hahahaha. i missed my friends, my HS class, but i really wasnt into constantly posting "i miss highschool" photo albums.

because a lot of my friends and the people in my highschool class were achievers, i guess their goals really were set kind of high. while i got into a few orgs and gigs on my own, to be honest, the only goal i ever had was to smoke weed, and i havent even accomplished that! hahahaha. (though its not a question of accessibility)

in the beginning i took college less seriously than a lot of my friends. but even as i'm actually only starting to really work on my credentials now and stuff, i still have no Ideal College Self. i'm just taking the experiences as they come, and i'm pretty cool with that.

i will find the answer in Peels.
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