Wednesday, August 24, 2011
it must be easy for you, keeping me at bay. only enjoying your time with me while i writhe and toss and turn inside my head; compromising my rosy expectations with the tedious reality and WAITING. a whole lot of waiting, only for you.

how come those silly little dreams i have that i should be dreaming of with you, i have to dream with someone else?

how come you can't just integrate me in your life in the long term? i mean, your brain literally can't process it. you remove me from anything that will 'stick'; anything that you will have to look back on years from now, you remove me from our context. i don't even know if this is done consciously, but it is so glaringly obvious to me. i'd rather you reject me. or assure me that when you do think of these things, it will include me. it will include us.

i'm not stupid, of course there might be other reasons if it isnt meant to be. but if it isnt meant to be, it will not be because i lacked commitment. it will not be because i didn't try hard enough. it will not be because i held you loosely, and only wanted "to see where things would go". i am not experimenting. i am not gathering "life experience". i would not waste my time for any of that. i would not only do it for the love of cute moments.

i stay for you. i stay for the hope that it would always be you.

i will find the answer in Peels.
0 boo(s)

0 I've been booed!

Boo me?